I wrestled with whether I should write on this topic. I mean, what does a mid-30’s single guy have to really say about sex? Then I remembered a conversation that I had with a close friend who reminded me that while I don’t have formal training, I do have the Holy Spirit. And so, I write this. Most of what I say has been written about repeatedly elsewhere but we continue to need the reminder.
You see, I just recently finished reading through the letters of the New Testament again and I was struck by how many times the sin of sexual immorality is mentioned. As I contemplated this, I came to realize that in this area at least, our current culture is not much different than it was in the first century Roman and Greek cultures.
I believe that sexual immorality may be one of, if not the most, pervasive and insidious sins that afflicts the church today. One only has to look at the news and see the number of well-known pastors that have been discovered to have been cheating on their spouses, caught in potentially compromising situations, the child sexual abuse scandal that has turned the Catholic church upside down, or how many churches condone and encourage homosexual marriage to see the truth of this. And while the issues in the Catholic church are the most public, there is no question that this issue is rampant through our culture and most distressingly, the church as well.
How has this happened? Simply, Satan has twisted the innate sexual drive and desire for intimacy in humans from something God ordained to be between a man and woman inside the covenant of marriage to something far different. Sex today is everywhere in our culture. One can’t watch a movie, TV show, or walk through the checkout aisles in the store without it being shouted at us from every direction. Satan has convinced us that as long as it feels good and the parties involve consent, then there is no harm. The greatest tool Satan has for encouraging this distortion today may well be the proliferation of pornography.
So what can we do to combat this? Well, first, we need to normalize the discussion of sex in the church. Parents, start talking about sex early, perhaps earlier than people think. If we can demystify sex early, there is less of a chance of a young person seeking answers elsewhere and stumbling into pornography. Second, keep computers in open areas where family traffic is heavy. Don’t trust that porn blockers are going to be effective. Teens can and will find ways to neutralize them. Third, married folks, share all your passwords with your spouses. Phone, email, Facebook, Twitter, all of them. Encourage each other to look at the other’s accounts. Additionally, require your kids to do the same with theirs. Finally, don’t be alone with a person of the opposite gender in a place that isn’t public if at all possible. Even those who need to have conversations in private should do so where there are windows that are uncovered. Do everything you can to make it impossible for there to even be a question about what might have happened. This is the reason that I have made it a point to not enter a home where a woman is without another adult, preferably her husband, being there.
Are these things going to be foolproof? No. Humans have an incredible capacity for imagination and finding ways to do what we want regardless. These ideas may just help make it that much more difficult.
If you’ve made it this far, I know that despite everything people will stumble and make terrible mistakes. That is our fallen nature. We need to remember to love these people and to restore them to Christ. One of my comments above might be taken as homophobic. That is absolutely not my intention. I firmly believe that there are people in this world that are attracted to individuals of the same sex and by itself is not sin. Choosing to act on those attractions and desires is what is sinful This is part of the twisted nature of our fallen world.
I don’t want anyone to think that this issue has somehow not touched me. I was first exposed to pornography when I was just 4 or 5. I didn’t understand it at that point, but that picture from the magazine page is seared into my memory. Even then I knew it was something wrong and not to be talked about. Pornography has been and continues to be a struggle that I fight on a daily basis.
In the end, we’ve been called to love everyone, period. We don’t have to love their actions, but we do have to love them.
Well said Friend!